Thoughts in my head

Day in and day out my apartment is still, for I am the only one who enters here. I try to trick myself out of loneliness with music, sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. Two and a half months have past by and I know someone so much better. She has frustrated me, she has annoyed me, and I have understood her in new ways. She is me! The silence and emptiness has forced me to dig deep into myself and discover the truth behind who I am. The person helping me discover me is my Savior Jesus Christ. The silence of this apartment has opened my ears to the not so soft whispers of God. He is changing me, perfecting me, fixing me, loving me, and tenderly guiding me. I have discovered a love for control in myself that God does not want in me any longer. God has taken away my ability to control, He wants me to obediently follow him and give up my own control and give it to him. This leaves me vulnerable which is another part of myself I struggle with. If I am having to give up control and be vulnerable before God the old Amy wants to coward and hide but the new Amy can now see His hand guiding me a lot easier. As much as I have fought the loneliness that has entered my life I now long for these times. God has freed me from myself and the loneliness that was once controlling my life has turned to worship to the one who has saved me.